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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

"YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR"

[NOTE:  below article was written as printed and submitted to win free Tripod]
HDVideoPro has finally given me the strength to recall one of the most horrendous days of my life. And, as every filmmaker would imagine, this particular day happened in the course of production. Moreover, the fact that this article may win me a Sachtler Tripod is ironic to say the least. The following true story took place in November of 2000.

I had planned a two day shoot for my short entitled “DEVELOPMENT HELL” (online at http://www.spike.com/video/development-hell/2418185 and also Atom.com.), a gentle satire of the manner in which certain “industry” executives can change beyond recognition the creative focus of any story, even “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” In my script, the angel Gabriel, on direct orders from the Almighty, is pitching the Bible as a film project to a studio executive and his “D” girl. These self-absorbed drones are not even aware of the Bible's existence and proceed to give story and casting suggestions in their effort to make the concept a more commercial Hollywood action film.

Despite the entire story taking place at one location (a restaurant), there was eleven pages of dialogue, so the 2 day shooting schedule was tight. Why only 2 days? Because it was my money financing the entire project and I was intent on keeping costs under $1,500, including post production. Obviously, I was calling in favors, doing my share of begging, and spinning opportunistic tales of how this short would catapult everyone involved to stardom.

The first day of the shoot, the crew and I arrived at 6 am and proceeded to setup the main shot which consisted of a table where the Angel Gabriel, the Studio Executive, and the Development Girl would be sitting during lunch while listening to the pitch. I enlisted every friend and friend of friend to come that day and pose as “background diners.” The cast arrived at 8 and we were hoping to begin the first shot at 10 o'clock. Everyone showed up on time. We had our props, costume, hair and makeup, extras, DP and crew...everything was running smoothly...too smoothly.

We were all set up... ready to roll. I called for the actors to take their places on the set. The DP was a friend of a friend – a very talented and personable guy who was doing this project for no money. So when he came running from the bathroom to begin the first shot and tripped on the cord connected to the Canon XL2 mini DV camcorder set on a flimsy tripod, I quickly decided that a jury of my peers would not find me innocent if I beat him senseless with the boom. That's correct – before the first inch of tape rolled, the entire cast (including 25 extras), crew, and I watched (for me it happened in slow motion) the camera tilt and come crashing to the hardwood floor. Thoughts of leaping to the ground to save the baby falling from the burning building raced across my mind, but those instant reflexes happen only in the movies. The sound of the camera as it hit the floor and a part of the viewfinder chipped off reverberated in my ears – and my memory -- for months to come. A quick examination of the camera proved that it was inoperable.

There was complete silence, everyone looking at me for guidance. I quietly excused myself for a minute and went outside to the back of the restaurant. My first thought was, “If only it were socially acceptable for a guy to break into tears.” But fortunately, I kept the water-works turned off and walked back into the restaurant. As calmly as possible, I explained that it was a wrap for the day and told everyone to help themselves to the elaborate, expensive buffet lunch that I had arranged in the second dining room. This was my biggest single expense since it's critically important to keep cast and crew fed well when they are working for little or no money at all. Of course, everyone dutifully ate two days of food as ravenously as soldier ants on the march. I mumbled, as I stumbled towards the front door carrying the camera, that we would meet as scheduled tomorrow with a new camera and professional tripod, as it had been concluded by the majority of the more experienced crew who witnessed the scene, that a stronger tripod would have withstood the yanked cord.

Well, we did get a second camera and a better tripod, we did shoot the entire script the next day and the video ended up coming out fairly well. In fact, it was chosen to close the 2001 Palm Springs Shorts Festival in the summer of 2001.

Yes, the antagonist of this story is a cheap tripod; yes, it really happened as written in this article; and no, I do not work for Sachtler Tripod. The moral of the story: Never try to save money by renting a cheap, flimsy tripod. You have been warned.